Saturday, June 28, 2008

Day Twenty Seven: Friends

Hi All,
I'm in Connecticut right now, hanging out with Kristen and engaging in some quality girl time. She and I have been friends since college. We've seen each other through weddings, divorces, dog dilemmas, fashion crises, and everything in between. And we've each, at times, been so mad at the other that we were ready to throw the whole thing out.

Wow, are we glad we didn't. The only reason that's possible, and the only reason we're still sane after all of our collective drama, is that God helps us forgive--each other, the people who've hurt us, the guy who cut us off in traffic last night on the way home from dinner--everybody. Because the truth is, if we're close to people, we're going to annoy them from time to time. We'll forget to call, or we'll remember to call and end up lecturing the other on what she ABSOLUTELY HAS TO DO (that last one is me...trying to fix that!), or we'll screw up in some other way for the ninety seventh time.

Sometimes you forgive and move on, and that's totally the appropriate choice. But sometimes you forgive and hold on, realizing you've got something worth sticking around for. With Kristen, I'm super-glad we opted for the second option.

No take home point for today's post, I guess...just what's on my mind :)

See you Monday!


the teacher said...

it's weird that friends are today's topic. i am struggling with my friends right now. my friends are either married, engaged, or in a very serious relationship. many of them have their own social stuff going on that they forget to call or want to spend time with others. since i am praying for a husband, (which means i am very single)i am having an EXTREMELY hard time accepting that i am alone. no guy and very little friend time. i ask God for help everyday because i am running out of strength. a lonely life is quite sad.

i need to work on being happy for my friends and cherish the friendship we do have together. it is just hard for me to not be jealous as i sit here missing them, alone.

extra prayers...

heiress said...

the teacher-
I completely feel your pain, i am also praying for my husband, and many of my friends are married or have significant others in their lives, but I am very very single as well.

You're right it gets to be real hard to watch others seem to live so happily and have the very thing we long for.

What helps me through the tough times is knowing that if God did it for them, He can do it for me. I use this time to really write down and talk to God about everything I want my husband and our friendhip, courtship, relationship, and marriage to be.

If you haven't read Trish's book I would strongly suggest that you read it, it has really helped me during this 40 Days of Faith.

Be strong and know that even when you don't see anything happening, know that God is working behind the scenes.

Stephanie said...

the teacher - I totally know what you are going through. I'm totally shocked I'm not praying for a husband. Besides looking for a new job one of the reasons I moved was because I no longer had any single friends.

Not that you need to move. But maybe you need to do something to shake things up. (Even I should do that!) :)

Liza said...

I with everyone else. I'm praying for a husband and I'm just about the last in my group without a husband and children. I just spend the afternoon with my friends and their kids. I love being with them, but it does continue to remind me what I don't have yet.

Natasha said...

Lol, it seems today is the extremely singles day! I am with all of you, i praying on my Boaz and I am sure he is out there. Spent the entire day with married friends and their kids, awesome reminder that i am alone. I dont mind too much I just want God to kinda speed things up!

killerbee said...

Hi to all my fellow single sisters! Not much I can add, you have all summed up what it is like! I used to get so frustrated by my married friends because they just had no clue what I was going through! The best example I have of that is the time my friend invited me over to her house after I had ANOTHER breakup. She cooked me dinner and proceeded to show me her wedding pictures and tell me all about that special day. I would have been better off crying into my pillow that night, which is what I ended up doing anyway after I got home!
Looking back, I was on a path to meeting my guy (this friend's cousin, actually), but I never saw it coming. I hope God's will is for us to be married, but I'm still praying! Blessings to every member of this blog who is praying for a husband!

blessedsubstance said...

Hello Everyone,
I pray that all is well. I have been reading the posts, but whenever I tried to sign in, it said that I had an incorrect password. So, I had to create a new account. I am still blessedsubstance however. I am hanging in there. I have an overwhelming feeling that God is about to do something spectacular. I can't wait to share what he does for me. Be Blessed!

Gretchen said...

I'll add my "me too!" comments to all the others posted here. Have no idea where hubby will come from, but I have hope- a Polish friend of mine, older than me and never married (EXTREMELY rare in Polish society), met and married the perfect guy for her in the space of 6 weeks. TOTALLY possible.

Thanks, Trish, for giving a good message today on guidance! Maybe you should combine writing with speaking as your life pursuit...

Kwana said...

Wonderful Post Trish thanks so much for that. Friends are so important. My girlfriends really bring me though in so many ways.
Looks like I'm chiming in as the married woman today. I've been married for 18 years to a wonderful man. But believe me there are times when it's really hard.

All you singles out there keep your prayers going but take the time to totally enjoy where you are in your life. I know from experience that another person does not complete you. Enhance maybe. Sometimes be a pain? Definitely. Is lots of fun and companionship and love? Surely.

But please don't look at your married friends and their lives and wish for that. Wish for you own happiness. And make it out of what you have at the moment. Trust me there are days those married with children are wishing for a little peace on their own:)

It's all good either way. Just pray for the right man that treats you as you deserve in the meantime treat yourself that way.

Ok. mini rant over. Much love.

ForstRose said...

I'm in the single column though I go through cycles with whether or not being "unattached" is OK by me or not. I hear you about things changing when friends get married or find their own significant others and you are feeling either left-out, left-behind or both. Last summer seemed like wedding after wedding amongst my formerly single circle of friends or what was left of them after the previous two wedding seasons where a few married off but last year at least 3 or my closest friends got married and are now in the midst of their own busy lives and dealing with the changes that go with that. I still see them some but probably not as much as I or they would like. However I simply try to cherish what time we do get together as there are so many things that take up people's time that even many of my single friends are hard to pin down for quality time together.

As someone said when we start to feel alone perhaps it is time to "shake things up a bit". I would say definitely do so, find a new group of people to hang with and make some new freinds in the process. Enjoy the people and time you have them that are still within your circle of friends as that will change over time. Some of the old will go and some new will come but there will always be a few that hang on or that you can just pick up with whereever you left off the last time even after months or years of little or no interaction.

Cherish friends and seek new ones when circumstances and time leave you with space to do so. For me making new ones is the hardest but sometimes just changing your environment a bit, a new church for example or hanging out and getting to know someone new that you met recently and think gee this might be someone I could enjoy spending time with. Even with those who might be "significant other" possibilities though I try to keep myself from falling into the trap(for me at least) of thinking it has to be a romantic relationship or dating seriously etc. I try to look at it as making new friends and if something else happens along the way then its a bonus from God.

Right now though I am praying for a steady job and to grow in my walk with the Lord as well as areas that affect my being God's best for a future mate, I must say I am in a season of being content with where God has me and trusting that He will either take away my desire for a husband and family or give me what it takes to get through and handle the roller coaster ride of life until such time as I am His best for that significant other and they are His best for me.

This is not easy and patience with things in my own life has never been a strong point for me. I do relaize though that His will is best and that when I try to force things along faster it ends up being dangerous to me and perhaps to others too.